Partnership: Navigating Intimacy

Romantic relationships—whether you are married, long-term committed, polyamorous, partners in a lavender marriage or other—are the most profound invitations to growth, and at times, can be the source of our deepest pain. Combining two (or more) histories, communication styles, and needs can lead to conflict, distance, or a painful disconnect. When the closeness and security you once shared begin to fade, it leaves you feeling frustrated, lonely, or unheard.

We view relationship work not as a way to "fix" a partner, but as a commitment to co-creating a secure, honest, and mutually supportive partnership that honors every individual involved.

The Spectrum of Relationship Support

Inclusive and Non-Traditional Partnerships

• The Experience: Affirming and supporting all forms of committed love, including traditional marriage, long-term committed partnerships, LGBTQIA+ relationships (including Lavender relationships), and ethical non-monogamy (including polyamory). The challenges are unique to each dynamic—such as, but not limited to, managing jealousy, boundaries in complex structures, or navigating external judgment (minority stress).

• The Impact: Clients struggle with feeling misunderstood, lacking specialized tools for their dynamic, and managing conflict rooted in differing expectations.

Communication and Conflict Patterns

• The Experience: This focuses on the core issues that break down intimacy: chronic fighting, emotional stonewalling, difficulty expressing needs without criticism, or repeating the same unsatisfying arguments. This often stems from insecure attachment patterns.

• The Impact: Loss of trust, profound emotional loneliness within the relationship, and difficulty maintaining emotional safety.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Trust

• The Experience: This includes defining what is acceptable in your relationship structure, recovering from infidelity or betrayals of trust, or navigating major life transitions together (e.g., parenting, career changes, relocation).

• The Impact: High anxiety, resentment, difficulty trusting the relationship's stability, and exhaustion from carrying unequal emotional labor.

Our Work Together

Our work is available for both individuals and couples therapy. Regardless of your relationship structure, our work focuses on identifying the unconscious patterns and building sustainable skills for clear communication and secure attachment. We help you move from cycles of conflict or distance to a place of mutual understanding, secure connection, and intentional growth.

Inclusive Relationship Therapy California